Blog Don't Touch Me

He touched her just as he had a thousand times before, but somehow it was different.

She was thrust into a dark memory, and awakened to something lurking inside of her: an echo from the past, an uncle’s touch that went too far.

She demanded he stop. Her words were angry, bitter, and full of accusation. She couldn’t separate his touch from her uncle’s. She became withdrawn and dangerously silent.

But she knew what to do and who to talk to. Some of the women were a thousand miles away, but she could feel their presence as if they were in the room with her. They listened and reminded her of the things they had learned together: exhale the grief, forgive the offender, move through the pain. Don’t swallow the grief and let it ferment into anger, bitterness, and then rage.

They helped her remember. She had helped them through their season and now they were helping her. Kind and considerate, they reached out through the Free Her system and lifted her up again and again. Their support brought healing and courage to move through the grief.

Soon after, she was able to invite her husband into the Free Her system. He learned about her wound and how it could heal. He learned to guard the emotional scar the abuse had caused. He learned how to help her face the family reunions where she would encounter the uncle. He helped her speak the truth so that the abuser would never have a chance to do it again.

And then they worked together to restore the intimacy. The touching, the kissing, the enjoying of each other physically. He was tender to her heart, her scar, and together they healed. She began to smile again when he expressed desire for her. She learned to relax as he approached her and let him love her, touch her, please her.

It was different. The innocence that was caused by a powerful denial of the abuse was gone. It was replaced by a shared grief that was maturing into a gentle, sexual joy that they shared. A quiet, powerful joy that went beyond sex. When she laughed after sex one evening, she knew that the LUV strategy had saved love, and she was confident in the power of LUV to save love in the future. Her respect, her reverence of LUV grew and so did his. LUV made sure that there was no space between them, and they knew they were going to make it. The win was beyond their dreams.

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