Blog Get Over the Past

He was angry, far too angry considering the actual situation, and it seemed to happen more and more often.

He had so much anger stored deep inside of him and she was beginning to be the target of that anger all the time. It was like a switch turned on in his head and he almost hated her.

She knew it was because of past relationships and the abuse he had suffered, abuse that had been brutal and consistent throughout his whole childhood. Free Her helped her deal with the fears that arose during these attacks. She was able to be quiet, be still, and stay at rest. And then listen. She lowered her defenses and could hear what was really going on. She went through the Crisis program for herself, and then with him. She imagined him answering the questions. She wept as she realized the pain that he was in.

One morning, he was particularly brutal, snapping mean words at her. She left the room and walked through the Free Her way of dealing with hurt. She came back into the room, and they continued the discussion. It surprised her that he acted as if nothing had happened. The feelings from the poison he had put in the air still lingered, and she could still feel the sting. She ignored her own feelings for a moment, and looked at him. She saw him with her heart. “You don’t know what you just did,” she said, realizing it for herself. She was surprised. He really didn’t remember the brutal words that had just came out of his mouth. He was exhaling words in his anger that he didn’t remember. She stared at him in shock over his lack of awareness of the poison that came out of his mouth.

The wonder surprised him. He was used to pushing her away and then having her come back at him full of bitterness and anger. He would eventually find some way of saying sorry, and that seemed to always appease her, but not resolve the issue. This was different. She wasn’t angry. She was mystified. She kept saying, “You really don’t know what you’ve done.” The lack of anger bothered him. He was used to the anger. It was a way of life. This truth telling, this looking and really seeing, made him uncomfortable.

“You’re right,” he finally replied. “I’m not aware. But I can see it hurt you.”

Those words stunned her. Of course it had hurt her. She had been telling him that for years. But now he was getting it. He was seeing what his words, his attitude, did to her. Finding stillness had allowed her to look with her heart and not her head. Her head always got offended and created noise that made it impossible to hear. She knew he loved her, he was just unaware of the ugly words that seemed to negate his love for her. Now she knew the truth and could guide him toward the truth. She loved the new sense of power and control and healing that was hers. She wasn’t dependent upon his actions or words for her belief in her beauty and value. She was at rest. And it felt good.

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