Blog Getting Over I Don’t Love You Anymore
He sat quietly at the table. He had done everything she had asked. Everything.
He believed that he had broken her, but what he didn’t know was that this was her fifth failed relationship. Every one of them ended the same way. Somehow, in some way, the man failed. Some worse than others, but she would wait until they failed and then move on. Only this one was different: there was a small child involved.
Her father had been well respected in the community, but had also begun the cycle of failed relationships in her life. When she was young, a boy was particularly attracted to her, and she liked the attention. She agreed to meet him behind the school right after classes were over, while they waited for the school buses to load. He pushed her up against the wall and used her body to relieve himself, and then walked away. She was crushed. Going home she said nothing. The boy was very popular and all her girlfriends liked him a lot.
It took a couple of weeks, but finally her father asked her what was wrong. They were on their way to an event without her mother and she opened up and shared everything. She saw valid concern in her father’s eyes. He held her while she cried.
But a few days later, her mother approached her and they talked. Her mother shared the same grief, but what she said next broke her. She said that they weren’t going to do anything about what had happened because the boy’s family was well connected and wealthy. Her father had decided that they would just have to look the other way. There was nothing he could do or would do.
She promised herself that she would never be a victim again, yet later on, she found herself mistreated by a man in college. She couldn’t believe it. He had started the relationship with a wonderful attitude. It was a great romance, but after the sex he changed. He acted like he owned her. Sexually, financially, time-wise, everything. She took the abuse for a short while, and then left.
The second guy fared better, but she was so unused to honesty and closeness that she read it as weakness. The third guy was more of the same, but he came in a better package. He had more money and influence. He was good-looking and knew how to take care of her, but their senior year he was unfaithful – three times. She moved on again.
This new one seemed better. They married and had a child together. He was shy and very successful, but had a weak character. He developed a relationship with a woman at work with whom he frequently went on business trips. The affair began as an accident but lasted for a few months. She found out about the other woman and he stopped it, but didn’t stop communicating with her. This happened three times. He had a window problem that kept turning into doors. And he refused to close the windows.
She discovered the Free Her system and began the journey before she found out about the affair. She learned how to be quiet, be still, and rest. She learned how to listen with her heart. She healed in a lot of ways. The Save Love Experience revealed the father wound and her addiction to fear. When fear rose up inside her, she checked out. Every time. The Free Her system recommended that she sit down with her father and be open, honest, and vulnerable. She promised herself she would, but didn’t follow through. She tried to make it happen, but fear was allowed to sit at the table and negated any insight that could have healed her.
What she despised was that she had promised herself that she wouldn’t marry and bear children with a man that would cheat on her once they had kids. Here was a beautiful daughter who now had a father that was habitually unfaithful. She had failed. It was too late. The fear held her and she exited the Free Her system even though she made token changes for appearance’s sake.
He had seen the changes she made and was impressed, so he decided to go through the Free Her system for himself. The Save Love experience exposed a lot of issues in his life that made a real, intense relationship almost impossible. He evolved slowly into the revelations. The Crisis program allowed him to release the grief of years of abuse by his family. He hadn’t been allowed to feel things. His sisters were, but he wasn’t. So he went inward. Pornography and fantasy became his idols, and yet he excelled in the business world. In the FIX part of the Free Her system he saw it, he saw his mistake and owned it.
He approached her with LUV – Living the truth, Unconditionally, and Very intentionally. She was impressed and told him so, but it was too late. Her heart was cold. She knew what she was doing was wrong and it bothered her, but the thought of being in a relationship with this man made her sick to her stomach. LUV whispered to her that the love would return if she would let LUV flow through her, but she was done with LUV and love. She would move on and focus on her career.
It took about two years of failure as her life fell apart for her to wake up. He was still single and waiting for her, which made her nauseous, but the anger and rage were gone. She lacked the drive to continue her company and had to sell it. That hurt. LUV had gotten her to success and kept her there. The little lies came rushing in when she said no to LUV. The chaos undermined her decisions and she lost confidence in herself. Those who worked for her were scared when they saw her come apart. The really good employees left early, before the decline. Soon she was all alone. Everything she had seen during her Save Love Experience came true. She had given into fear and it consumed her. She needed to be in control. She needed to be free from him. She thought that invulnerability would set her free from fear, but it didn’t. Fear lied. Need lied. The monster was in control and consuming her life.
The Save Love Experience was different this time. She was completely open and honest and vulnerable. The truth showed up and she believed. She engaged with the truth, lived it, and it set her free. She and her ex-husband aren’t back together, but they’re now friends and successful co-parents. They have enjoyed some great conversations, shared tears and grief, and have a closeness that could lead to something. They’re both open to whatever LUV has in store for them.
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