Blog Getting Over the Pain of the Past
The anger and rage consumed her.
She woke again in the night. She had dreamed that he was with her, the other woman. She got up and out of bed because she knew there was no chance of falling back to sleep. She also couldn’t stand to be next to him. The chance of him reaching out and touching her made her feel sick to her stomach.
A hot cup of tea helped calm her some. She was angry and she was hurt. As she sat at the table, she realized that she was broken. Shattered.
She had prided herself on being an achiever. She faced obstacles and overcame them again and again. Nothing could stop her. She had thought that no one could ever break her. A broken person can’t overcome. They can’t even function. The damage he had done to her went deep.
So deep that she finally asked for help. She reached out to a friend who recommended Free Her. She went to the website and experienced the Save Love Experience. The fear monster was identified and she was given the tool of LUV: Live the truth, Unconditionally, Very intentionally.
LUV was not new to her. Living the truth had always been a part of who she was. It determined her success. What she didn’t like was that after all the pain, LUV was drawing her back to her husband. She didn’t want to go back, but she didn’t want to leave, either. That’s what made her brokenness so evident to her: she was stuck, and she had never been stuck before. She hesitated. LUV spoke and she didn’t move. She knew what this meant. She wasn’t being completely honest with herself and a little lie was growing. The lie would create a space in her and that space would create chaos. She had promised herself that she would never ever allow chaos in her life, but now she was going to have to use energy to manage that chaos. She told herself that the space, the lie, the chaos would be so small she could live with it. She was wrong.
The space grew. The lie grew. The chaos grew. She had to entrust herself to the growing monster of fear and greed inside of her. The monster promised to keep control, to keep things moving. Even the monster lied. Now it was in control and her world was spinning out of balance.
She was gaining weight. She was missing her deadlines at work. Her employees sensed the change. Some tried to move in closer, but most were relieved that she was joining them in a compromise of the heart. She was now one of them. LUV was gone, and they hated the conviction that came when she walked in LUV. Her company began to lose business and her reputation was being shaken, a reputation her father had built for years and passed onto her. Everything was coming apart.
It was only after the divorce that she began to see the truth. She thought she had won, she was clear of him. Even her family had been surprised at the energy she used to divorce him. But now, she began to see the lie she had told herself: the lie that she no longer loved him.
He had done everything the Free Her system had asked of him. She was the one who had stopped the process because she could see the outcome. It was asking her to surrender to her fear and allow LUV to flow through her and heal their relationship. And that meant she would have to allow his dirty little hands on her again. His eyes, his hands, in fact, his whole body had made her sick. She wasn’t someone who surrendered. She overcame. Surrendering felt like death. And in a way, it was. The death of her old self. The monster had tricked her into destroying the marriage and the relationship. The damage to the children was horrific. And all because the anger and fear had allowed that little lie to hide inside her.
She went to the Free Her website and started all over again. This time she was completely open, honest, and vulnerable. She was told that LUV saved love. Now LUV was her only hope.
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