Blog She Overcame Cheating Blues
It hurt. It just hurt. She could hear him breathing.
He was where she wanted him to be. Everything was back to normal, it seemed. But it hurt to have him sleeping next to her. She feared the hand reaching out in the night for sex. She avoided taking long showers when he was home in case he came in and wanted something. She changed in another room just to keep things cool between them sexually. Not that she didn’t desire him, but she was in emotional pain, and it wasn’t helping their relationship.
She entered the Free Her system not just to work on their relationship, but because she wanted to move through the pain, to heal from the damage he caused by having an affair. She enjoyed the insight she gained from the Save Love Experience. Her feet felt firmly planted beneath her again. The clarity was intoxicating, but somehow it only intensified the pain. The grief was almost unbearable.
It was in the Crisis program that she found relief. She was surprised that she couldn’t think her way through the deep grief. She had tried, but it seemed to stir up the grief even more. As she moved through the exercises in Crisis, she enjoyed the healing that she was experiencing and the powerful sense of peace that overwhelmed her heart. The peace began to outweigh the pain.
He was relieved when he was able to join her in the Crisis program. The questions and the insights were exactly what he had been looking for. And then she introduced him to the Save Love Experience. He too enjoyed the insight into the monster inside him and how it influenced their relationship and his career. He was surprised at how easily the monster moved in his life; it spoke and he moved, almost like an army recruit and a drill sergeant. But now the monster quieted, and he began listening to her and not to it.
She saw the change. It was slight at first, and she would have missed it if she hadn’t been listening and choosing to ignore the monster. She made gentle comments encouraging what she saw. And in return, he saw her pain, including the emotional pain that sex caused her. The other woman had sent his wife the emails and voicemails that he had left her. He had used the same intimate words with the other woman, words she thought were just for her. Now those words had become common, ugly words that stirred up deep pain. He created new words, words that were healing and gentle and drew her back to him. And he said them over and over again.
The desire to be sexually intimate returned, slowly at first. He was careful with his desire. The monster demanded sexual attention but he kept the monster dead. He died to win. It was like killing the weeds that had overgrown a path in their garden. It took a while, and a lot of strength of character, but he did it. They’re now free from the monster’s desires, and they’re free from their fears. The scar remains, but the joy they know together is greater than the memory of the pain. And they’re pressing on with their whole hearts.
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