Blog Survive the Loss and Live Again

Her heart had always been tender. She had wonderful parents, though her father had passed away when she was almost fifteen years old.

He did his best to prepare her for his death from cancer, probably the best a man can do. But it wasn’t enough.

She crashed emotionally, though a young man in her class seemed to save her. They fell in love and she fell in love with being in love with him. To those on the outside, it looked like love had saved her. The problem was that she needed him too much. She needed a romantic relationship with him to keep her from facing the horrible grief inside of her. She needed him to make her happy. And he did, for a while.

But then the other woman stepped in. The couple decided to go to the same college and continue their romance while they got their education. The first two years were amazing and a lot of fun. He decided to move into leadership, and became the student body president and started in the direction of politics. It was a new passion, and he was good at it. Local leaders even sought him out to come and speak at their events. He became very busy and she hardly got to see him. There were several young women on the political team he had built that were dedicated to helping him, to serving him in any way possible. They knew he was serious about his girlfriend, but they wanted the chance to be the other woman. He didn’t know he was being hunted. And he fell.

It was quick and over quickly. The other woman played upon his innocence and he fell for it. It surprised him how quickly he fell. One of the older men around him told him that there was stupid in every man. It just takes the right environment with the wrong people and the stupid gets a chance to come out.

He told his girlfriend about the affair and her fantasy was destroyed. Her heart was crushed, but she stayed with him. He pulled out of the leadership position and they pressed through to graduation, and then to jobs, marriage, and a baby. He promised that she would feel better with each new step but she didn’t. She was alone and she couldn’t shake the fear.

The Free Her Crisis system helped her to cry. To really cry. She felt a little weird about letting a video guide her through her grief but it worked. She released the deep grief from his failure. The grief began to flow out of her and she let the LUV strategy lead the grief out. He was relieved to see that for the first time she was processing her grief, she was moving forward. He had endured several counselors who tried their best but couldn’t reach inside of her like the Free Her system did. He accepted the guilt and shame that some of the counselors put on him, but felt the distance that it caused between them. The space was killing him slowly. They had told him that if he owned her shame and lived in the guilt, she would eventually be free. He realized they were right in a way: she would be free of him, but not the pain and the problem that still lingered in her.

Free Her set her free. He was invited to join her in her grief and was relieved. The grief was somehow drawing them together. Her grief over his momentary affair led to a deeper grief over the loss of her father. The loss made her believe that all good men leave. Her dad had left, and then her wonderful boyfriend had left. Her Save Love Experience exposed the ugly monster of Fear and Apathy. Now she can smile. Now she can laugh. She’s ready to live life again free from need for someone else to make her happy.

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