Blog The Truth Set Her Free from Herself and His Lies
She had thought their marriage was good, really good.
She had assumed that she knew what was going on inside her husband’s mind. And then he left. Without a word. Gone. She couldn’t believe how cold he became. When the divorce paperwork was delivered to her, she realized that he had been planning this for months. Being blindsided wasn’t something she was used to, especially by someone she thought she knew so intimately.
He agreed to a counseling session before the paperwork was finalized. She pleaded for him to be honest about what was wrong with their relationship, to tell her the reason why he had gone to the other woman. He simply shrugged his shoulders and stated that he didn’t know. Maybe he was bored, tired of the same old thing. He encouraged her to try not to take it personally. He was so cold to her that it scared her. When the session was over, he appeared to be glad it was finally done. He could move on.
The other woman enjoyed having someone to help pay the bills, and the taste of stolen candy is sweet. But soon she bored of him, and told him that she didn’t want a full-time man. She liked the idea of a man who lived somewhere else and who could just be a romantic friend and lover. Washing his clothes and taking care of him, that was for a wife, not her.
He asked to come back to the house. She relented temporarily because it was what the counselor said to do. But there was no apology, no seeking reconciliation. He just needed a place to stay while he continued the affair.
As she went through the Save Love Experience, her eyes were opened. She was desperate to save the marriage, no matter what. She needed to be married even if it was a broken marriage, a piece of a marriage. She needed him and he felt it. It surprised her how the need monster had affected her whole marriage and her whole life. It had even affected her career.
The Crisis program helped deepen her awakening and gave her a refreshing clarity. She also loved the sense of stable footing that she gained. When Crisis asked for his participation, he declined. He said he wasn’t interested in saving the marriage, even though he had put the divorce on hold. He feared that if he divorced her, she would put him out of the house, and he couldn’t have afforded a decent place on his current salary. He needed a few months to save up some money, so until then, he remained quiet but distant.
In the midst of the chaos, she was able to find peace and stillness. There was so much healing going on that she didn’t pay much attention to him. She wanted him, but she wanted all of him, not just a piece. Soon, he left. He said that she was making life miserable for him and that he couldn’t breathe under the oppression. He had begun to sense that what he was doing was wrong, but he loved his wrong better than what was right. Soon the other woman wanted nothing to do with him, and yet he still didn’t desire his now ex-wife. As she continued to heal, she realized that he had never had the capacity to love her. Something was broken inside of him and all he thought of was himself. He eventually moved in with his mother. He looks happy but she knows better. She grieves the fact that she was willing to work on the marriage, which would have helped him work on himself, but he couldn’t see it. She kept growing and he stayed the same. Stuck in time.
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